Tuesday, April 21, 2015

See No Evil 2 & Muck- 2 movies...


As the movie begins we are caught right up in the middle of the action. Three half naked women stumble out of a Cape Cod marsh pursued by some unseen force. They are dragging a wounded man and are quickly followed by a second man and we quickly learn they’ve lost two of their friends to the unseen pursuer(s). They find an abandoned house and hole up while the only healthy male runs for help.

This movie is not very good.

We never ever learn why the young people are being pursued by the malevolent force in the marsh- the DVD box says they stumbled across an ancient burial ground, but we never see this actually happen. We never see the unknown Force- but the characters quickly run in to a second threat in the form of albino “Creepers” who are too afraid to enter the Marsh. I went through almost 45 minutes of this movie before the plot started to make any sort of sense- and even then it only ever kind of sort of makes a little bit of sense.

I had to look this movie up on the internet where I discovered this is the first in a planned trilogy of films, with the second film supposedly being a PREQUEL that will show why these five characters are being pursued. I have a serious problem with this that I will get to in a little bit. I still need to talk about this movie and I still needed to look up the film online to get any sort of sense.

So the writer/director quit his day job in order to pursue this dream of being a film director and invested his personal savings into making this movie. And, hey, I have to give credit where it’s due- he’s pursuing his dream and I respect the hell out of it. And he’s not entirely unskilled in this field, either- the film has some good moments. In all actuality, the arrival of a new character into the mix totally MADE the film far more entertaining than it had been up until that moment.

This may fall into a bit of spoiler territory, but that one male who runs off to get help does manage to find a bar with patrons and a bartender and he borrows a cell phone and then he calls for help. He calls his cousin, Troit. Troit lives nearby and drives a broken down cab so he’ll be able to come in and pull all them there folks out of trouble- and then that one character runs back to the house. That’s right, folks- he does not call the cops, he does not call for any additional help, he does not ask anyone to drive him back to the house so he can pick up his friends and bring THEM to the bar- NOPE! He runs back to the house.


But he does manage to bring Troit into the film- and let me tell you folks, this character is a godsend. This character is arrogant, brash, a total jerkwad and pretty much has no redeeming value as a human being. He’s drunk when he gets the call, he’s hitting on the 2014 Playmate of the Year, and he’s also hanging out with a second woman who he constantly hits on and is rebuffed by. He is an AWFUL HUMAN BEING- but he brings that Jerk level up past ten and hits the “ASH-O-METER” pretty damn quickly when the spit hits the fan. He is glorious!

Let’s see- what else does the film have? It has Kane Hodder as one of those albino creepers who are almost all shirtless, wearing leather britches, and wielding a variety of weapons. He doesn’t actually do much, but he’s there. And there are a number of women who are in various stages of undress throughout the film- rarely does it have anything at all to do with the plot of the film. There are even scenes where this eye candy models lingerie for no apparent reason for far too long.

I can’t recommend this film to anyone. I can say that if you can stomach the forty five minutes or so where people run around, get killed, and you’re never really certain where one scene begins and another ends you will get as your reward a dose of Troit. Troit is worthwhile- but seeing as how this trilogy is supposed to continue with a prequel, then that means Troit will not be in the prequel. And that makes the second film completely worthless, especially since we already know who dies in the first film. GADDANG IT!!!!

2.5 out of 5- and it would be a 1.5 if it weren’t for Troit. All hail Troit. 

See No Evil 2

The first “See No Evil” was a pretty standard horror slasher film- I enjoyed it and I thought it  was a fun little ride featuring WWE wrestler “Kane” (Glen Jacobs) as the films “monster”, Jacob Goodnight. The end was pretty final, but only so final as most Slasher films may be. There wasn’t an ending stinger, it was just what it was and it didn’t really need to be anything more. So just about a decade later the studio decides to bring back Jacob Goodnight for another run.

So WWE studios brings that new sister/team for directing duties, they bring in Danielle Harris and Katharine Isabelle to star, and they decide to follow up the original film by setting this movie mere moments after the previous entry. Jacob Goodnight is wheeled into the morgue with the bodies of his victims and wakes up on the slab. He sets off on a path of bloody carnage and slaughters people- and that’s the movie. That is the sum total of the film.

To be fair, the performers aren’t really given much to work with here- the characters are flimsy at best, with Danielle Harris taking the lead when her friends decide to stop by her work for a Birthday Celebration. And no one is really fleshed out from there- Katharine Isabelle gets the most out of her screen time, but everyone else are just pins set up for the monster to kill. I don’t even know the character names in this film- Isabelle and Harris did a solid job, but that’s where the performances begin and end. This film actually has less character development than the first and that film didn’t have much to begin with. There’s no reason to really connect with any character or feel badly for their death- the inevitable stalking through the hallways of the morgue just never reach a fever pitch, the film never really shocks, and the gore doesn’t even seem to satisfy. The movie has the feel of something being rushed through production and it doesn’t precisely hit any real solid notes.

That’s not to say it’s a total waste of time- Kane is watchable as the stalking monster, the gore effects are fairly decent, and the sisters do manage to create a certain atmosphere with their pacing and edits.

2.5 out of 5.

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