Don't Breathe!

Don’t Breathe

When a trio of teens decide to target a blind Gulf War veteran, they get much more than they bargained for when the man wakes up and subjects the burglars to a savage funhouse of horrors. Fede Alvarez (Evil Dead remake) sits at the helm and uses every trick you come to expect while pushing the envelope a few steps beyond for some truly twisted bits of terror. Our three burglars are struggling kids who are trying to break free from their poverty-stricken Ohio slums. A “hot tip” leads them to the home of our Blind Vet, whose name we never learn. He is played by genre vet, Stephen Lang (Avatar). Having lost his daughter to a car accident some time previous, the man is living off a settlement with the driver’s family. The teens quickly find themselves trapped within the house and discover more locked doors than they’re expecting. Jane Levy (Evil Dead remake) and Dylan Minnette are cast in the lead roles of Rocky and Alex- Levy all but unrecognizable from her role in Alvarez’s previous film. Both are fairly standard character actors who really don’t stand out too much.

So I was sitting in a pretty loud theater with a bunch of teenage boys who were trying to make themselves feel tough by scaring their girlfriends with inopportune “jumps” every few moments- all of which came to a head when one teen sitting in front of me declared “Wait… he’s blind?!?!!” after over an hour into the film and several moments where they specifically state the character was blind. Despite this interesting audience, I still found the film tense and that it worked well where it intended to work. Still, most of the film seemed to be a fairly “paint-by-numbers” affair with the traditional beats getting struck here and there.

And then the third act began.

And the film went from tense to downright terrifying, disgusting, and horrifying in a way that I didn’t expect from a wide release film. I felt my dinner gurgle up and threaten to leak out my throat, a little bit of that bile burn deep down in the back of the tonsils. The film ups the ante and our nerves get raked across an acre of broken glass. Our Blind Vet goes from tough as nails hardcore to sadistic monster in a steady progression that suddenly dips into the deep end of crazy town. The violence, both physical and mental, really ramps up in the final moments of the film.

7.5 and a strong recommendation.

Suicide Squad

Suicide Squad

Task Force X is a highly secretive government program that allows DC Meta-Human criminals to work years off their sentences. Masterminded by Amanda Waller, the Task Force is led by an Elite Forces soldier named “Flagg” and each of the criminals are implanted with a tracking chip in their skull. Either Waller or Flagg are fully capable of arming the chips to explode. That’s the basic premise of the comic book and that’s the basic premise for the film in a nutshell.

As the third film offering in the latest DC cinematic universe, Suicide Squad is “okay”- a somewhat interesting offering to a series of films that haven’t yet had a chance to establish the heroes or the World in which the universe takes place. We are introduced to a number of characters and given brief origins that include appearances from both Batman and The Flash. The Squad is assembled and a mission is given—so we’re set for a nice little roller coaster ride with some interesting performances. And the film is “okay”.

Okay?

Here is the thing- I want to be excited about the upcoming films. I wanted to be excited by this film. I wanted to be thrilled and amazed and incredibly impressed with everything surrounding this huge film that would focus on some of DC’s colorful villain elite. I sincerely want to enjoy the DC universe in much the same way that I enjoy Marvel- truth be told, I want to enjoy them MORE than Marvel. The truth is that I prefer the DC comics to those of Marvel- at least the DC comics I grew up with. My favorite superhero is The Flash- I love Booster Gold, Blue Beetle, and Green Lantern. I enjoy the colorful Villains that include Captain Cold, Joker, and Lex Luthor. When all is said and done, I’m looking forward to Aquaman coming face to face with Black Mantis… but when I felt a certain degree of relief that this film didn’t suck it made me check myself.

I was relieved that the movie didn’t suck.

I didn’t think it was “good”, not really- just that it didn’t “suck”. Why am I giving this film such an easy pass?

It was fun and frivolous and there were some good performances in it- The Enchantress creeps and crawls about as an early member to the team while Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn tries to instill some decent bits into what is, essentially, awful writing. Will Smith lends some power to Deadshot, even if he winds up quipping his way through a majority of the film. Joel Kinamen hits some very impressive pathos as the teams’ leader, Flagg. And Jay Hernandez is a powerhouse as El Diablo.  Throw in a humorous turn from Aussie lay-about “Captain Boomerang”, glorified appearances from both Killer Croc and Slipknot, plus the special addition of Flagg’s bodyguard, Katana. The film acts as a veritiable “Who are any of these people and why should I care?”. It literally relies on its audience to be more than passing familiar with the source material and then abandons that same source material whenever it becomes convenient for the story.

And the story is bad. It’s not just poorly conceived, the story is just flat out “bad”- it doesn’t really make much sense, there isn’t a whole lot to inform the danger, and every contrivance is a sign of really lazy writing. The team has to face a villain who is already a member of the team before anyone else is a member of the team. And then we also fight in order to close the big shining door up in the middle of the sky- for the umpteenth time in a comic book film.

Now, before I get to my final rating let me address the Elephant in the Room- he’s an icon, he’s a standard, he’s probably the single MOST recognizable villain in the history of comics. He’s had several incarnations and he has been brought to life through several actors- and in this film, the role of the Joker belongs to Jared Leto. And he makes very little impression in the role. Sorry, but I didn’t buy him in the role- he didn’t impress me, he didn’t disgust me, he didn’t terrorize me in the least. All I could think was that he looked really stupid with the tattoos and the shaved eyebrows and his laugh was more annoying than it was horrifying. He was certainly “acting crazy” and he maybe thought he was being crazy- but he was just sort of annoying. It was weird because there were all these rumors about the “pranks” Leto would often play on other cast members- and he was just really dull as the Joker.

6.5 out of 10 and I recommend it if you have nothing to do one afternoon.

Star Trek: Beyond! and "Light's Out!"

Star Trek:

A clever script and intense action sequences allow the crew of the Enterprise to deliver one of the best films in the franchise. As a partial “trekkie” (I enjoyed the original series, Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, half of Voyager, and some of the largely panned “Enterprise” series), there was plenty about the new reboots to love despite a few annoyances. Fans were willing to embrace the inconsistencies of the first film from JJ Abrams, but man felt the second film went to the “Khan Well” far too soon in the series and that it was done very poorly. For me, it was largely entertaining (though I did feel bad about Pike’s “unhappy ending”), but mostly just popcorn entertainment and not so much the “science fiction epic” that I was hoping for.

Justin Lin (Fast and Furious sequels) takes the director chair with a script co-aughtored by Doug Jung and genre favorite Simon Pegg. The story takes place three years into the Enterprise’s five year mission- they’re weary, frustrated, and daily life aboard the ship has become monotonous with an occasional spark here and there. Of special note is that the original series had run three seasons- so the crew is likely to have had many of the same missions of that series during the space between the past film and this one. So we are moving past the known universe and we are telling a new story- and this one calls to question the very purpose of Starfleet.

A renegade alien has been watching from a distance. Resentment has grown, anger with the Federation itself, and we finally question the nobility of Gene Roddenmerry’s future Utopia and whether it’s our conflict or our unity that offers humanity it’s growth and strength. And while there’s no subtlety to the question being asked, the film doesn’t spend much time running their moral question to the ground- they have a world to save, an enemy to confront, and near-death experiences to avoid.

I’m not going to bore you with the praise I have for this film: I just loved it. It is easily the best of the new series, easily better than many of the films in The Next Generation and Original series, and well worth the time in catching the movie on the big screen. This is Chris Pine’s defining moment as Kirk and the other characters are all well-represented, not only for their moments as characters but their moments as officers of Starfleet.

9 out of 10.

Lights Out

Based on the original viral video of the same night, this full length adaptation attempts to take an atmospheric and haunting film that leads up to a single jump scare and expand it well beyond the two minutes or so of the original run time. When the lights go out we can see “her”… Diana. A ghost? An apparition? A creature of pure darkness? Whatever she is, she is a creature of darkness and she is unable to exist in the light.

First: let me talk about the “good”- as an allegory, Lights Out is an effective exploration of mental illness and the effect it has on the family of those affected by it. The story follows a pair of siblings, one a young boy and the other an older sister who has already moved out and has been avoiding her mother for some time. After the death of the mother’s second husband, the boy continually sees her talking to her friend, “Diana”. The older sister remembers a time when “Diana” paid visits to her mom as a young girl and the mysterious things that would happen. And we learn fairly quickly that “Diana” has no intention of sharing the mother’s affection with others- even with children.

Second: The “Bad” is that the film actually lacks some of the tension of the short. Creaking noises, pounding feet, and little silhouettes framed against a slightly lit backdrop tend to grow more annoying and less scary the longer they go on. There are a few moments where the film goes where it’s strongest and plays with the idea of the light switches being turned off- but it never really goes very far. There was one moment where I did, literally, jump in my seat- but the film never really goes far enough in just building the tension.

This is a very standard type of film and it won’t be the “best new thing”, but it a largely satisfying enough piece of “light horror”. It’s a film that truly deserves the PG 13 rating without having to really reach for it- there are few things that could have elevated the film to an “R” rating and it didn’t truly deserve it. Basically, if you have time to kill and you want to see something a little tense and spooky, this is the film for you.  

6 out of 10.

GHOSTBUSTERS (2016)

GHOSTBUSTERS (2016)                 

There has been a LOT of controversy surrounding the latest Ghostbusters film. Let me get that out of the way right off the bat, because it’s going to be relevant to what I have to say about the film in general. The basic thing is this- there was a lot of flak from people regarding the “all female” cast of the new Ghostbusters. To some, it felt like “stunt” casting- to others, it felt like a long overdue recognition of female empowerment. The honest truth is that this pretty much felt a little “in the middle” for me- it felt like a stunt, it could have been decent, but I was incredibly skeptical with hope for a good feature. And then the trailer hit- and the backlash was almost immediate and it was brutal. Let me say that I think it’s a poor trailer at best- it kills the comedy, highlights poor special effects, and it relied too much on familiar iconography to sell something that was supposedly moving away from the original source material.

But all of that would be almost meaningless if not for the backlash from Sony and, specifically, Kevin Feig. They decided that the best way possible to spin all of this controversy would be to attack anyone with an accusation of sexism- and they proceeded to unleash one of the most bizarre instances of “shaming” an audience into attendance. Seriously?

Well, my son is a big Ghostbusters fan. My wife was interested in seeing the movie as well. And I had nothing better to do than to make certain my family spent some time together at the cinema…

And it wasn’t awful.

It was a fairly standard film utilizing the best elements of CGI in order to create some truly awful looking effects that we could ultimately dismiss as being far too colorful, goofy, and cartoonish than it was frightening. It introduces a villain that is, quite frankly, one of the most boring representations of male ego and rage. This is, literally, a basement dwelling troll who hates the world above him- and he has no real personality, no real identity, and nothing all that impressive in his performance. His interest in the paranormal is barely scratched, his ability to create the technology is dismissed and never addressed, and whole of the plot seems lost with an inability to actually tell a story arc with any real beginning, middle, or end. The film, largely, manages to exist and does little more than that.

Actresses Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy are school friends grown apart in recent years. A recent resurgence of an earlier book published by the two scientists provokes their reunion when the uptight Wiig finds herself up for tenure. Supernatural stuff, they’re both humiliated, they both decide to start investigating the paranormal once again, and so they do. And while McCarthy is an interesting character to follow, Wiig seems largely over directed with only a few moments of pure comedic brilliance. Her scenes with Chris Hemsworth and a few other moments with the ensemble allow her to shine, but she seems largely pulled back from any real reactions in a number of scenes. Actress Leslie Jones seems to be a little lost in the mix- a character searching for her voice and relegated to screaming, yelling, and over-acting in a number of scenes. She’s somewhat shoe-horned into the group as their resident Local Expert.  

Now, I know it seems I’ve been real negative till now- but here is the kicker: The first two women are joined by Kate McKinnon in what has to be one of THE best comedic and iconic performances I’ve seen in years. She absolutely owns her scenes, owns her character, and delivers in each and every moment that she is on screen. Whether she is delivering her lines or just reacting to the situation, this is a fully realized performance and it deserves some serious praise. What’s more, I want to see more movies with this character- and there’s enough in her performance to make me want to see her interact with the other characters in the film, as well.

And that brings me to the weird crux of the film- this is largely a Jeckyl and Hyde kind of film- when it works, it’s really good. Moments between the four leads are fairly well done and establish their characters, interaction, and relationships with one another. There are moments caught on film where the four women seem to be having some genuine fun with the script and their story; interviewing for a secretary, challenging a hoax debunker, and some of the earlier “investigation” scenes work to their strengths. Their eventual confrontation with a series of ghostly creatures is excitingly cut. But all of this is cut with a poor script, a terrible story, and a lackluster villain- a number of plot contrivances pull the characters toward one scene after another and many jokes are left dangling or fail to hit.

The film itself is actually about a 6 out of 10- EXCEPT for the performance from Kate McKinnon, whose presence alone elevates the film a whole two stars. So 8 out of 10.

The Shallows - A couple of thoughts on this fish film.

The Shallows

Ready? Here we go…

I took the bait.

I had a few hours to kill and a gift card burning a hole in my pocket so I went and caught the latest Shark film- “the Shallows” over at the Maya Cinema. It had some decent buzz surrounding it and I happen to like these types of films. So the card when through and I dropped two fins off the total. I grabbed a bucket of popped corn and a cup of soda, I took my seat in what I thought would be an empty auditorium- but alas, others were soon to join me in my Thursday screening. The film started to roll and we were already off and swimming.

So here’s the story- a woman (played by Blake Lively) is on a journey of “self discovery” after the passing of her mother due to cancer. We get a bit of lazy exposition drop early in the film- she’s a med student who just dropped out, she’s been on this journey for some time, and she has a younger sister that she helped raise. We learn all of this in the first ten minutes of the film and- actually, it’s all done quite well for what it is. This is who she is, this is what brought her to this largely abandoned beach, now let’s get on with the film and the direction handles this information very well considering my usual distaste for this type of writing. Suffice to say that we know everything we need to know about this woman in the first few minutes of the film and then the action moves on from there. And I was hooked!

What’s the action? Well, she’s out surfing in the breakers of this small beach when she is attacked by a shark. She manages to make it to a small island in the shallows, but the tide is going to wipe this island out eventually so she needs to either wait for a rescue or somehow outsmart the ultimate eating machine. It’s basic and there aren’t many frills to complicate the issue- and it’s really good. You might say it never flounders! Lively is an engaging actress and I can’t help but draw a little comparison to her real life husband and his performance in “Buried”- (Ryan Reynolds, trapped in a coffin the entire film.). She isn’t an actress I’m overly familiar with- I haven’t seen much of her work. But she is completely engaging in this film and she carries a strong lead throughout the piece. She spends the majority of the film trapped on a coral reef and vacillates between playing the helpless damsel and the fighting woman her parents raised her to be. And this is where that back story comes into play- because we see the journey she is on and the decisions she is making, why she is making them, and where they will ultimately lead her to. So while I groaned inwardly at the start of the film, the whole of it made sense of everything much later- and the film eventually asks the question: “How much do you want to survive?”

4 out of 5.

Borrowers @ The Carmel Outdoor Forest Theater.

The Borrowers @ The Carmel Out-Door Theater

Based on a well known series of books for children by Mary Norton, “The Borrowers” saw its’ most recent adaptation (Arrietta) by the Studio Ghibli brand of family friendly anime features. It’s now being brought to the musical stage after a storied history; made available in the shows program.  It seems a long journey that spans decades and involves the recent passing of the shows composer.  The book was written by and the show directed by Walt deFaria, whose passion for the material stretches back to the 1970's. This is also the first play to be performed at the venue since the Outdoor Forest Theater’s closure back in 2013.

The basic premise of the story surrounds a small family of “Borrowers” who live beneath the floor boards of an English home in the country. Pod, his wife, and their daughter; Arrietta. They’re a tight knit family but they haven’t had any contact with others of their kind in a very long while. They live off the human residents of the home, “borrowing” random household items for their own use. They must remain hidden from human eyes or else risk “Emigration” to the outside world.

Jared Warren Hussey commands a strong lead as the family Patriarch. His vocals remain strong throughout the show and his mannerisms are perfect to the character he plays- cautious, a little mischievous, and always looking out for his family. He hones a character that is charismatic, likeable, and always on point from the first moment he steps on stage in the opening number. Gracie Moore Poletti stars opposite, a nurturing maternal figure who counters Pods caution with encouragement. And Gracie Balistreri features as the curious Arrietta, whose desire to visit the “Outside world” may bring her family to ruin. With long flowing curls that seem to catch in the wind, Baliesteri prances across the stage with active enthusiasm and captures the imagination of children everywhere.

But no story exists without their antagonists- and in this case, the upstairs Humans get some of the juicest tunes and most elaborate comedy in the show. Played  to the hilt by stage veterans (and real life partners) Phylis and Mitch Davis; the two residents of the home have taken in a young boy from London and it may only be a matter of time until one of them sneaks more than a glancing peak at the little creatures in the floor. To say anything more may spoil a few pleasant suprises, but the upstairs neighbors do receive a visit from three local men with positions of some importance.

The play is good family entertainment and should, no doubt, make it to your list of things to do these next several weekends.

4 out of 5.

We Are Still Here... thoughts. Fucking A!

We Are Still Here

Currently streaming on Netflix, “We Are Still Here” is one of those hidden gem films that fucking brings it. Seriously, I walked in with eyes wide open and I expected yet another carbon-copy “haunted house” film despite hearing all the good things about it being a love letter to Fulci and those old 70’s Italian Horror films of the time. Yeah, right- I figured we’d get an eye gouging scene and a few “vintage” cars with some “grindhouse” color saturation and I was okay with all that- I dig those kinds of movies. But the truth of the matter is that every advertisement, every trailer, every little bit I’m seeing in advance of this film is making me think “Conjuring” or “Annabelle” and I put this one on the back burner for the past couple of months before finally biting the bullet to check it out. I’m a little glutted out on “Haunted House” flicks and this one didn’t really look at all that special.

I should not have waited.

Barbara Crampton takes the lead as a mother who is mourning the loss of her teenage son. She and her husband purchase a house and things start to get a little weird- the basement is too warm, there’s an odd smell, and she can’t shake the feeling that her sons’ spirit is still with her. Things move in the wee hours of the night and there are noises- oh, it’s kind of spooky and all of that stuff and we even get a nice little background on the house from a creepy neighbor. And then shit goes down- and when it goes, it fucking GOES! Because this isn’t a creeping crawling ghost situation- this is a tortured spirits who will physically tear people apart situation when we see some honest to goodness CREATURES crawling up from the shadows of the house.

And then things get worse.

The term “Love letter to Fulci” has been used so many times by so many other reviewers that it’s kind of become a cliché at this point. And this film is all of that- no doubt about it. But there’s something else about this project- there’s an laser focus to the horror that Fulci often blurred with his dialogue and plotting. This movie heads straight on and leaves just enough for audience interpretation. The gore is cranked up by quite a bit, though we never do seem to get the expected “eye-ball trauma” that I expected. Blood flows and the “creatures” are impressive to behold- their eyes bearing a resemblance to those seen in The Beyond while the rest of them is just unnerving to watch.

While Crampton carries the heart of the picture, Andrew Sensenig’s performance as her husband “Paul” keeps the audience grounded with his skepticism. Of all the characters, Paul seems the most sensible and the most direct in facing their problems. Larry Fessenden delivers an incredible performance as family friend, Jacob. Just wait until the two men are left by their lonesome as the ladies take a ride into town and be prepared for the creep levels to reach critical mass.

This movie seriously kicked my ass and I literally watched until the credits stopped rolling.

5 out of 5.