Scherzo Diabolico: Horror from south of th border.

Scherzo Diabolico

He’s a pretty mild mannered guy. He’s an accountant with a wife and son. He’s one of the most trusted men in the office. He’s also stalking a teenage girl and is going through a step-by-step plan to kidnap her. Why? That would be spoiling things. Who is she? So far as we know she is just a teenage girl. So how can I describe this film? That’s the trouble- there aren’t many ways to describe this film that doesn’t spoil things. So keep on reading as I try to navigate the rough and winding road through this psychotic little tarnished gem of a film- and then throw it on your Netflix Queue because this one is going to leave you shocked and numb.

This little import from Mexico is an intense psychological thriller that gets downright gruesome toward the end. It left me somewhat numb at the end- sort of buzzing with a bunch of mixed feelings. Aram, the lead character, is not a good man by any stretch of the imagination. He is planning something horrible. It isn’t entirely clear that his plan is all that necessary for him to achieve his goal. What he does and how it spirals through the rest of the story is a dark stain that creeps into the viewer and leaves them wondering where everything is going to go. And then there are the scenes with his victim- watching her struggle against her bonds and seeing her trapped within an abandoned warehouse where he’s holding her captive through most of the film. And he leaves her alone through most of that.

This isn’t a straight forward film that delivers it’s major points right off the bat- it slowly unwraps and exposes a dark and bloody center which will leave the viewer scarred. Director Adrián García Bogliano, does a fantastic job of crafting a tense thriller throughout the first two thirds of the film- but it's the final third of the film where the film turns itself on a screw. The film is reminiscent of some Korean thrillers over the years but develops a personality all its own. The very last frame of the film left my heart beating in an uncomfortable rhythm and I felt hollow to my core. I wanted to cry- and I felt a sort of shame and fear. As an emotional roller coaster, Scherzo Diabolico works and delivers one heart pounding smash after another.

However, there are some clear plot holes and some of the contrivances never really seem to work as anything more than a thing of convenience to move the story along. Few characters ever really earn our compassion and the lead is never meant to be a likeable person.

8 out of 10.

Greasy Strangler, Phantasm Ravager, and a Top Ten of Carpenter list.

The Greasy Strangler:

I won’t be the same person I was the moment before I sat down to watch “the Greasy Strangler”- there are some incidents that can irrevocably change the nature and soul of a man. I count this film among those moments and incidents. And, God help me; I cannot say that this is a “bad” film- because it neither wasted my time nor did it lose my attention. So I cannot warn you to stay away- in fact, I’m probably going to do the opposite. I’m probably going to wind up encouraging you, dear faceless reader, to bear witness and experience precisely what it is that has left such an indelible mark upon my immortal soul. What I can do is give you my reaction to the film- and to do that, we have to tell a little story.

Two of my theatre friends decided that we should all check out this bugnuts film at our local Art House Theater- It looked something like an early John  Waters meets Aqua Teen Hunger Force type of film to me, and the trailer somehow caught the attention of both my friends and so the plan was set. We would land in the Osio and we would watch this thing- whatever this thing wound up being- and we would share in the experience. And then we sat there through the credits and we stared at the screen until one of us eventually broke the silence; “What the fuck was that?” my friend Koly asked, an odd smile on her face. Ralph and I fumbled in our own heads and we sought meaning to everything we had just witnessed- I am still sort of stumbling around in my own head, trying to figure it all out.

We laughed throughout the film and we were caught up in the experience. None of us could declare this was a bad movie. None of us could really say it was great. None of us could really lay claim to understanding it, either. And when a fourth friend sent a text to ask how it was, Ralph could only reply with “I don’t know”. And we talked about the film- we tried to figure this out. We were three reasonably intelligent people- three artists who regularly read and decipher scripts for translation to the stage. We’re also not entirely certain we did miss the point of the film. The truth is that we just don’t know for certain. Ralph’s best guess was “The duality of man”- don’t ask me because I’m stuck on the greasy melon. I haven’t seen either friend since we parted ways and I worry for the wellness of their minds at this moment but I must save myself. May divine spirits have mercy on our souls.

This movie, however, offered no such mercy. The creators of “The Greasy Strangler” give us a simple story about a father and son competing for the affection of a woman. Throughout their town, people are being killed by a mysterious serial killer covered in Kitchen Grease. Hilarity ensues? I think? Eye-balls pop, body parts are cut off, some parts are eaten, there’s naked genitalia all over the screen, and there’s grease. There is a lot of grease. And the film is an absurdist nightmare with ugly, awful, and disgusting moments all caught on video and burned indelibly into my cornea. There are sounds that echo in my ear that I can’t stop remembering. And someone says “I am the Tarzan of a cum jungle.” And that’s what we’re dealing with, here.

7 and a must see for fans of bizarre cinema.

Phantasm: Ravager

The ball is back!

This here is the fifth and absolutely final film in the Phantasm franchise and brings back almost all the star players for a curtain call. With the passing of Angus Scrimm (The Tall Man villain of the film) earlier this year, the film is almost over shadowed with a sense of loss and regret. And the films thematic explorations reflect this tone as we find Reggie stumbling back out of the desert where he’s been lost the past several years. He’s been fighting the Tall Man, tracking his friend Mike through dimensional portals, and then we flash to where Reggie has spent the past several months or years while suffering through dementia. Mike is at his side and visiting, reminiscing, and also quite interested in hearing about this “Tall Man” story. And then we flash through other stories, other worlds, where Reggie is at once a hero, a victim, a savior, and a partner- and we continue to explore the first film’s themes of loss and death. Or is it all just a dream? Or it is all really happening?

A landmark franchise, Phantasm has never had the popularity of a Slasher film or the traditional monster movies but it has maintained a core audience through every film in the series. Don Coscarelli allowed his original story to be changed a little and continued through the eyes of a new director, David Hartman. The two co-wrote the script and we get a lot of Coscarelli’s visual style throughout with some new tricks along the way. And through it all, Phantasm remains the mystery it was always meant to be- a film that the audience makes rather than a film that tells them what they should be thinking. Because this all could be a dream. This all could really be happening. Reggie could be dying in a hospital bed or he could be writing a song for some pretty young lady. The film is open to interpretation and I’ve always enjoyed that about the film.

The movie answered every lingering question I ever had about the franchise to my satisfaction. It hit all the right emotional notes and it gave us a couple of endings to the journey of Reggie, Mike, and Jody. I highly recommend the film for Phans of the original, but be warned that some deep things are going to be explore here and it’s good idea to walk in with an open mind.

7.5 out of 10.

CARPENTER WEEK OVERVIEW:

So, I started my 31 Days of Horror and decided to watch a couple of John Carpenter films. This little piece will not be a review of each Carpenter film I saw but rather a ranked listing of my top ten John Carpenter films. So, if you enjoy lists and want to see where YOUR favorite Carpenter film falls then give it a look through.

10. Vampires: James Woods as a foul-mouthed crusader hunting vampires in the desert. An underrated gem from the Carpenter legacy and probably one of the last “fun” projects that Carpenter had a chance to work on. It feels more Carpenter-esque than his later full length films.

9. Christine – based on the novel by Stephen King, a car possesses a teen and they form a dangerous bond of obsession.

8. They Live: Aliens have infiltrated and taken over society, enslaving mankind.

7. In The Mouth of Madness: A detective is sent to track down a reclusive writer whose works may be a doorway to another dimension.

6. The Fog: Vengeful ghosts return to wreak vengeance on a small coastal town.

5. Prince of Darkness: An ancient evil wakes up and it's up to a team of scientists and a priest to unlock the mysteries of the anti-god before destruction is set loose upon the world.

4. Big Trouble in Little China: A truck driver dives into the dangerous world of Far East mysticism and helps an old friend find his kidnapped fiancee.

3. Escape from New York: A battered veteran criminal has to rescue the President from the prison island of New York City.

2. The Thing-An alien attempts to devour and replicate an Antarctic Research team.

1. Halloween-A masked killer goes on a murder spree, terrorizing a group of teen age babysitters.

#deadserioushorror For the Horror Movie Podcast!

The following Video was taken this past summer at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. My favorite podcast to listen to is the Horror Movie Podcast, hosted by Jay of the Dead, Wolfman Josh, and the doctor of shock-a-nomics, Dr. Shock Dave Becker. And just following it, they sent out a challenge and I haven't had a chance to take a new video since... but here it is to qualify for entry in this years #deadserioushorror on the TWITTER!!!

 http://www.horrormoviepodcast.com/

31 Day Horror Challenge!

31 Day Horror Challenge

An annual tradition for many horror enthusiasts, I've decided to create a schedule for myself- the card is, of course, subject to change. But here it is... the Calendar schedule for 2016's Horror Challenge. 31 days and 31 movies... actually, 36 since I will be pulling a double feature on Saturdays. Woot woot!  

						1.      NOES Double Feat. 1 &2
2 Italian Horror. City of the Living Dead *update +Blood Punch	3 Carpenter Week: The Fog *UPDATE	4 Carpenter Week: Halloween *UPDATE	5 *Update Army of Darkness	6 Carpenter Week: Prince of Darkness	7 Carpenter Week: The Thing	8 *Update Phantasm: Ravager *Update: Double feat.
9 The Greasy Strangler	10. Part 2: Hatchet 2	11 Part 2 week; TCM 2	12 Shin Godzilla	13 Pt 2  Evil Dead 2	14 Part 2 week. Halloween 2	15. F13 + Curse of Frankenstein.
16 Mexican Horror: Scherzo Diabolico	17 Slasher Pieces	18 Slasher The Mutilator	19 Slasher StageFright	20 Slasher F13	21 Slasher Leslie Vernon	22 Lovecraft double Feature: Re-animator / Dunwich Horror
23 SPAIN Horror: Werewolf vs. Vampire Woman	24. Classic: Dracula	25 Classic: Bride of Frankenstein	26 Classics Wolfman	27 Classics Creature Black Lagoon	28 Classics Abbot & Costello meet…	29 VAMPIRE double Feature: Let Me In & 30 Days of Night.
30 NORWAY Horror: Dead Snow	31. ???

Train the Busan and Kubo And the Two Strings.

Train to Busan

I never thought I would get to a point where I am writing about how tired I am of the Zombie film- it’s a fad that has sort of hit a downward slide and overexposure is leading to burn out on the creature as a viable threat in horror films. So, despite rave reviews, I didn’t see much point in checking out Train to Busan- except the reviews got louder and the  raving almost became a mantra and this year has seen a bizarre dirge in horror film-making. So when I caught an opportunity to catch the train, I hopped on board and figured it couldn’t be an awful ride. So let me get to the quick of it-

On the early morning of her birthday, a young girl is accompanied to Busan by her work-a-holic father who rarely seems to have time to be a father. The train has several notable characters- including an expecting husband and wife couple, a homeless man, a high school baseball team and their friends, the COO of a major corporation, two aging sisters, and a partridge in a pair tree. (joke) But in all seriousness, the characters find themselves trapped on the train when the virus breaks out and it almost immediately begins to devour occupants of the train itself. Our zombies are World War Z speed monkeys and they swarm with a feral hunger. Victims don’t linger in the film- they’re turn isn’t quite the eleven seconds of WWZ, but it doesn’t take very long at all for the virus to take effect. And combining elements of a disaster film with the swarming threat of the undead works as a fulcrum in which to tell other stories- Train to Busan utilizes the threat as a metaphor to tackle issues of parenthood, class warfare, desperation, sacrifice, and how civilized people behave when the threat is suddenly very real and very present. Train to Busan shares much more in common with “The Poseidon Adventure” than it does with “Night of the Living Dead” .

Visually, the film is absolutely stunning and delivers some truly creepy scares. The film also takes place in the daytime, so this is horror in the day-  the light, in fact, may be a greater danger than anything the shadows may hide. The film plays a little with an occasional stereotype, but no one in the film behaves in a manner that is truly nonsensical- mistakes are made and they are organic to the story. The zombie swarms are impressive, especially in one key moment where separate crowds of the nasties collide and pile over like a giant wave.

8.5 out of 10. 

Kubo and the Two Strings

The people responsible for Coraline and Para-Norman (LAIKA) are back once again with this stop motion feature featuring Charlize Theron and an almost unrecognizable Matthew McConaughey. Art Parkinson lends his voice to the titular character, a boy hiding from his god-like grandfather, the King of the Moon (Ralph Fiennes). He makes his way through the world by telling stories with his magical shamisen and an extraordinary ability with paper. “If you must blink, do it now. Pay careful attention to everything you see no matter how unusual it may seem. If you look away, even for an instant, then our hero will surely perish.” These are the opening words to the film and they are as true as they are captivating- Kubo faces monsters, demons, and his own uncertainty in a traditional hero quest that his him seeking the instruments for his success.

Like LAIKA’s previous entries, this film is rich with imagery and story. So rich that it’s hard to discuss without spoiling a vast majority of the film- suffice to say that Kubo’s allies include a toy monkey brought to life through magic and a cursed samurai given the body of a beetle. Each of them is on a quest of their own, aiding Kubo along the way in unique ways and allowing Kubo to grow as a character and person. It’s at once heartbreaking and uplifting. Much like Para-Norman, the film tends to defy genre simplicity and spends less time referencing pop-culture than many “children’s” films in this day and age. Save for one cameo, the film relies on its own world-building for the humor and explores a Eastern story motifs with family, loss, tradition, and humanity.

9 out of 10.

Don't Breathe!

Don’t Breathe

When a trio of teens decide to target a blind Gulf War veteran, they get much more than they bargained for when the man wakes up and subjects the burglars to a savage funhouse of horrors. Fede Alvarez (Evil Dead remake) sits at the helm and uses every trick you come to expect while pushing the envelope a few steps beyond for some truly twisted bits of terror. Our three burglars are struggling kids who are trying to break free from their poverty-stricken Ohio slums. A “hot tip” leads them to the home of our Blind Vet, whose name we never learn. He is played by genre vet, Stephen Lang (Avatar). Having lost his daughter to a car accident some time previous, the man is living off a settlement with the driver’s family. The teens quickly find themselves trapped within the house and discover more locked doors than they’re expecting. Jane Levy (Evil Dead remake) and Dylan Minnette are cast in the lead roles of Rocky and Alex- Levy all but unrecognizable from her role in Alvarez’s previous film. Both are fairly standard character actors who really don’t stand out too much.

So I was sitting in a pretty loud theater with a bunch of teenage boys who were trying to make themselves feel tough by scaring their girlfriends with inopportune “jumps” every few moments- all of which came to a head when one teen sitting in front of me declared “Wait… he’s blind?!?!!” after over an hour into the film and several moments where they specifically state the character was blind. Despite this interesting audience, I still found the film tense and that it worked well where it intended to work. Still, most of the film seemed to be a fairly “paint-by-numbers” affair with the traditional beats getting struck here and there.

And then the third act began.

And the film went from tense to downright terrifying, disgusting, and horrifying in a way that I didn’t expect from a wide release film. I felt my dinner gurgle up and threaten to leak out my throat, a little bit of that bile burn deep down in the back of the tonsils. The film ups the ante and our nerves get raked across an acre of broken glass. Our Blind Vet goes from tough as nails hardcore to sadistic monster in a steady progression that suddenly dips into the deep end of crazy town. The violence, both physical and mental, really ramps up in the final moments of the film.

7.5 and a strong recommendation.

Suicide Squad

Suicide Squad

Task Force X is a highly secretive government program that allows DC Meta-Human criminals to work years off their sentences. Masterminded by Amanda Waller, the Task Force is led by an Elite Forces soldier named “Flagg” and each of the criminals are implanted with a tracking chip in their skull. Either Waller or Flagg are fully capable of arming the chips to explode. That’s the basic premise of the comic book and that’s the basic premise for the film in a nutshell.

As the third film offering in the latest DC cinematic universe, Suicide Squad is “okay”- a somewhat interesting offering to a series of films that haven’t yet had a chance to establish the heroes or the World in which the universe takes place. We are introduced to a number of characters and given brief origins that include appearances from both Batman and The Flash. The Squad is assembled and a mission is given—so we’re set for a nice little roller coaster ride with some interesting performances. And the film is “okay”.

Okay?

Here is the thing- I want to be excited about the upcoming films. I wanted to be excited by this film. I wanted to be thrilled and amazed and incredibly impressed with everything surrounding this huge film that would focus on some of DC’s colorful villain elite. I sincerely want to enjoy the DC universe in much the same way that I enjoy Marvel- truth be told, I want to enjoy them MORE than Marvel. The truth is that I prefer the DC comics to those of Marvel- at least the DC comics I grew up with. My favorite superhero is The Flash- I love Booster Gold, Blue Beetle, and Green Lantern. I enjoy the colorful Villains that include Captain Cold, Joker, and Lex Luthor. When all is said and done, I’m looking forward to Aquaman coming face to face with Black Mantis… but when I felt a certain degree of relief that this film didn’t suck it made me check myself.

I was relieved that the movie didn’t suck.

I didn’t think it was “good”, not really- just that it didn’t “suck”. Why am I giving this film such an easy pass?

It was fun and frivolous and there were some good performances in it- The Enchantress creeps and crawls about as an early member to the team while Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn tries to instill some decent bits into what is, essentially, awful writing. Will Smith lends some power to Deadshot, even if he winds up quipping his way through a majority of the film. Joel Kinamen hits some very impressive pathos as the teams’ leader, Flagg. And Jay Hernandez is a powerhouse as El Diablo.  Throw in a humorous turn from Aussie lay-about “Captain Boomerang”, glorified appearances from both Killer Croc and Slipknot, plus the special addition of Flagg’s bodyguard, Katana. The film acts as a veritiable “Who are any of these people and why should I care?”. It literally relies on its audience to be more than passing familiar with the source material and then abandons that same source material whenever it becomes convenient for the story.

And the story is bad. It’s not just poorly conceived, the story is just flat out “bad”- it doesn’t really make much sense, there isn’t a whole lot to inform the danger, and every contrivance is a sign of really lazy writing. The team has to face a villain who is already a member of the team before anyone else is a member of the team. And then we also fight in order to close the big shining door up in the middle of the sky- for the umpteenth time in a comic book film.

Now, before I get to my final rating let me address the Elephant in the Room- he’s an icon, he’s a standard, he’s probably the single MOST recognizable villain in the history of comics. He’s had several incarnations and he has been brought to life through several actors- and in this film, the role of the Joker belongs to Jared Leto. And he makes very little impression in the role. Sorry, but I didn’t buy him in the role- he didn’t impress me, he didn’t disgust me, he didn’t terrorize me in the least. All I could think was that he looked really stupid with the tattoos and the shaved eyebrows and his laugh was more annoying than it was horrifying. He was certainly “acting crazy” and he maybe thought he was being crazy- but he was just sort of annoying. It was weird because there were all these rumors about the “pranks” Leto would often play on other cast members- and he was just really dull as the Joker.

6.5 out of 10 and I recommend it if you have nothing to do one afternoon.