Kingsman: The Secret Service
I
kind of stopped reading comic books a few years ago. I’m familiar with
many of the titles that still hang around but they’ve been priced out of
my range for continued collection. I have nothing against comic books-
they’re just too pricey and I prefer purchasing books instead. So I
never caught up on the comic book release for “The Secret Service”- but
the truth be told, I probably would not have been caught up even if I
were still collecting. I’m not a big fan of Mark Milar- “Wanted” was
okay, “Kickass” sucked, and his take on the Ultimate series just reeked
of “mature cleverness” (IE, rape, abuse, foul language and other ‘big
shock’ in place of compelling story) that dominates the majority of
Milar’s work. I’m not a fan. But I didn’t walk in to Kingsman with any
previous knowledge of the comic book history or Mark Milar’s involvement
and that left me free of the burden of any expectation- and I really
enjoyed this film.
Okay,
with that out of the way; Kingsman is pretty much a retread on familiar
territory. We have a smart alec youngster taken under the wing of an
older mentor-type and brought into the world of a super secret spy
organization. So we’re pretty much looking at MiB, RIPD, Hellboy formula
for deconstruction aimed at the “superspy” Bond-like films of days gone
by. They sort of slip into a little bit of satire in the film, but the
film straddles a fine line a little too carefully. It self-references
the spy genre repeatedly but ramps up the gory violence, downplays the
immortality of both hero and villain, and gives a couple of glances into
the real world consequences for our Secret Organizations activities. I
happen to like those kinds of movies (although some are far more
successful than others) so I just sat back and had a shit-ton of fun
with this picture.
Brain
off. Eye candy. Googly moogly action sequences. Gory violence.
Unapologetic series of gruesome scenes and so on so forth- there’s an
especially effective scene taking place in a church, one of the most
impressive visual spectacles I’ve ever seen. That much information may
border on spoiling, but who cares? This movie isn’t going to offer any
great revelations or try to trick you with a bunch of twists and turns
you don’t see coming- nearly every twist is foreshadowed early enough in
the story. It’s not insulting, but it’s not exactly the epitome in
shocking storytelling.
4 out of 5.
Jupiter Ascending
The Wachowski’s return!!!
Yeah,
I wasn’t all that excited myself. They made a good movie, followed up
with a couple of lame-duck sequels, followed those up with a couple of
lamer adaptations of old material, and are back again with a little
space opera yarn-
But
this time the story is pretty good. I don’t know if it’s based on any
previous work or series of novels or comic books or anything like that,
but Jupiter Ascending is a fairly standard action “Hero Quest” with cool
visuals. The acting isn’t all that spectacular, with the bulk of any
real emotional resonance coming from familiar face Sean Bean in the role
of Sean Bean. You sort of want to set a stop watch to what you’re
certain will be his eventual demise, though I won’t spoil any details in
that regard. And Bean is really barely present through most of the
narrative.
Here’s the
basic story: A girl with the matching DNA of an intergalactic ruling
family’s matriarch is hunted by the surviving offspring of that
Matriarch for “reasons” that the Wachowski’s probably believe are deeper
than they really are. There’s an alien DUDE (Channing Tatum) who is
assigned to find her, protect her, and bring her to outer space, and
then stares at her throughout the movie with a set of eyes that say
“What will I order at the commissary when we break for lunch?”. The
chemistry between the two leads is- I’m certain the word “something “ is
as far from a definition as could possibly exist. But the story would
have us believe that there’s something between them- I guess? I don’t
know.
Things go boom.
The
villain comes on the screen and offers an amazing Voldemort impression-
truly, it’s spot on. So spot on that he couldn’t possibly be THE
Villain in this space opera- he has to be a red herring. He has to be.
There’s no way anyone that cheesy could possibly be the masterminding
villain behind this unbelievably complex scheme to “Do stuff”. I’m sure
he’s a red herring. Right? Anyway, he’s sort of in this silent war with
his other two siblings- his sister, who Does Stuff and his younger
brother, who also Does Stuff. And then there’s more Stuff- and a
brilliant scene that delves into the deep bureaucracy surrounding this
Galactic Government body that is never made truly clear but it most
certainly exists in some way, shape, or form. And Stuff happens.
There’s
a lot of Stuff happening. More stuff… good looking stuff, some aliens,
some robots, some lasers, some fighting, and then more stuff. Stuff
Stuff Stuff.
In the
end, the movie was a good popcorn muncher with lots of “stuff” but isn’t
any sort of breakthrough film and isn’t going to shatter new records.
It’s a cheap Star Wars knock off with a couple of bad words and violence
thrown in so the Wachowski’s could get a steeper rating and maybe lure
people in with that “mature content” warning label.
3 out of 5.
What have I been doing?
Not
a lot of updates to my blog this 2015- I never did get my top ten lists
out for 2014 and it’s probably far too late at this point. And, to be
honest, I’m not sure I can actually FILL a top ten list with “Best”
movies to come out. The list of films that even stand out in any way is
extremely small to me so I didn’t bother- and this year began with my
first Stage Directing job for Paper Wing Theatre.
Hey,
I put my money where my mouth is- I don’t just write about what I see, I
make few things of my own every now and again. I act, I write, I
direct, and that’s basically what I’ve been up to this past year with my
theatrical home. And the experience was both exhilarating and a little
bit humbling. It’s something I definitely want to do again- but in the
meantime, my blog’s been a little bereft of my opinions.
And
here’s an opinion- I was way too technophobic regarding the Kindle
device. I got one for Christmas from my in-laws and the thing rarely
ever leaves my side- it’s amazing! I get books- so many books, so many
of them free, so many of them just mowed through and so many wonderful
stories just wrapped up in my little brain. It’s brain melting and
amazing!
And that
meant I could download a story written by a friend of mine, someone I
intended to review at my earliest convenience- So here it is!
Blackstone’s Captive By Tom Doolan
I’m
a big fan of Pulp and this story is as fantastic pulp as it gets when a
marauding band of Orcish Space Pirates (!!!) overtake a human space
ship. They quickly put the crew down and the courageous actions of a
young passenger manages to impress the Orc Captain and the protagonist
quickly becomes the titular Captive of the story. It’s definitely an
intriguing concept and Doolan writes in the first person from the
captives point of view. There are some interesting concepts explored
throughout the narrative- the Boy struggles to maintain what he sees as
his own humanity and civilized nature yet he’s repeatedly “impressed”
with the savage simplicity of the Orcs. Are the Orcs really he Savages
he believes them to be? Is his humanity really all that precious?
The
writing moves quickly, despite the overly “civilized” flair of the lead
character. Captain Blackstone is an interesting antagonist, a black
hearted captain with a strange personal code. He’s an Orc who respects
strength, daring, and bald-faced courage in the face of danger. But he’s
ultimately a violent and unforgiving sort. There’s a strong influence
from the older “sweats” of the Pulp genre going on here and I love that.
Ultimately,
I thought the story felt like only a small part of a great whole and
hope that Doolan returns to these characters at a later date. There’s
enough potential here to give way to a decent “Cat and Mouse” chase
between the two lead characters and I can’t entirely side with the
Protagonist in the direct aftermath of the tale. If you’re looking for
some fun, pulpy, and fairly streamlined genre bending in your fiction
then a quick download for only .99 cents is the way to go. I’ll be
looking into Doolan’s other writings as time and wealth allow, but my
recommendation is to put a copy on your own kindle device.
3.5 out of 5.
